24/90

 Today started off really rough. Leo and bruno fought really badly. Leo got hurt a lotttt.

I was thinking since yesterday, what is ticking me so off about my friends. Like they are being perfectly nice to me and still I feel like distancing myself from them.

I guess I did found the reason or maybe It's just my brain on fire.

I think the reason why I feel pissed at N is because He doesn't respect my choices. Like he doesn't give me space. He doesn't respect the fact that I am busy. He mocks and demotivates me when I am working like "Training hi toh hai.....A please please please..." He literally starts groveling. He has no shame and no pride. He is constantly disturbing. But now, He's busy he's all focused and not at all bothering. And he starts bothering when he is free.

His selfish intent is that he doesn't want to feel lonely or be alone even at the cost of pride.

As for S , I think I feel pissed because she is that kinda person who'll teach you wrong thing so she could excel in exams. The kind , who pretends to help you but not really helping you. I used to think she tries to help but it backfires. but have realized that's not the case. She intentionally does that. She isn't trustworthy at all. 

She has loose morals. like she would judge me from drinking , or stop me from drinking or says she won't participate but always ALWAYS ends up drinking the most. I don't drink. I have never been drunk in my life honestly.

I really wanted to try it though. She would always ruin my plans and condescends me for making such a plan but ends up as drunk as a skunk and as high as a kite at M's parties. 

But you know what, I am to blame as well. I shouldn't be that lazy and dependent on others. I need to be independent of others as soon as possible. Be a parents, friends, relatives or anyone else.

Also, I think I'll watch that bunny senpai movie and order some good food and start looking up and moving froward in my life.