I think There is something wrong with me

 Honestly, I know it is a totally foolish thought but I can't help but feel this way. I am trying to be positive but it is kinda weird. I am looking for some good news. It's been a long time since I truely felt happy to be honest. I think the last time I was kinda happy was on my brother's result day. I wish I was an actor an A-list celebrity and dating jeon jungkook. but I would consider myself lucky if i ever get to be in the same country as him. everything was going fine today. But I don't know why ,I just can't study apti. Like I tried twice but failed. I know I need to work hard. I already hate this training. Had this been acting or dancing and for that matter even an instrument and singing, I guess I wouldn't have had problem to stay up and work on it. But yeah, not that lucky, to be honest it's not just about being lucky it's about I didn't had an insight that I should had been doing that. I don't want to repeat these mistakes though. But Honestly, I don't even know how not to do so. At that time, I used to do what seemed the best thing to do. I guess I'll be doing that right now as well. But It's never to late to start. as for friendship with others ,I don't really pwe anyone anything I guess. I will definetly call Anurag tommorow. That guy has always been there for me , so if he is down it's my job to lift him up. I was really upset when mom stopped me from chanting today. It's probably because dad gets angry. But, nevermind tommorw I will definetly give my best and do well. The main purpose is to grow and i will grow.  

6-8 Musigma Task : do it and complete it

8-9 Splits workout +Backbend

9-10 House clean

10-11 bath+breakfast

11-12 Chanting

12-4 Apti 4 chapters 

4-5 at least 10 job applications+ 1 chapter english

5-6 House duty+ evening snack+mom poster

6-7 Anurag call

7-9 Week 2 big data

9-10 Chanting 

10-11 Dinner+ chanting Study

11-12 programming study